I love me some Jessica Simpson. Thankfully, she's gone country, as have I, so I can continue to love her and we can be best friends forever like we're supposed to be. I feel badly for famous people because they have to mess up and live their flawed lives publicly. Actually, I don't really feel bad for them and if it was me, I would dry my tears with hundred dollar bills and comfort myself with a bajillion dollar bank account or live down a scandal in the fetal position in the back of my Bentley...convertible.
Where was I? Oh, Jessica Simpson. There's an old adage that goes something like, "Girls are crazy." I don't think I'm paraphrasing, I'm pretty sure that's it word for word. So when Jessica Simpson delcares 
that Tony Boyfriend-hates-your-Cowboy-ass Romo is the love of her life in People magazine, did Tony know about it or is he getting his pansy ass hazed by the guys on the field for having a crazy girlfriend? I imagine he calls Jess and is like, "girl, what are you doing?" (yea, Tony's a little bit gay in my reenactments) and she plays all dumb like, "giggle giggle, what? giggle giggle, I'm a distract you with my double Ds, a beer, some chicken wings and these ridiculously awesome hair extensions." And then it's back to square one and Tony's playing Wii Tennis, and Jessica's practicing her emoting in the mirror.
